Intertwined

 My poetry, his chords

healing us—

15 years are a long time to wait

for intimate conversation

about our feelings, our losses, our lives

Sharing our needs

with each other

after so many years of hiding them 

to attend to spouses’ needs.

Now, with support

I feel alive again---

Ready to see the world

through someone else’s lens.

Ready to laugh with someone

about life’s ironies.

Ready to face aging

holding hands:

Vines intertwined for strength.

What seemed impossible—-

insurmountable alone,

Now is manageable together.

Quiet My Soul

 

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Quiet My Soul

Morning Psalm 42

1   As a deer longs for flowing streams,
          so my soul longs for you, O God.
2   My soul thirsts for God,
          for the living God.
     When shall I come and behold
          the face of God?
3   My tears have been my food
          day and night,
     while people say to me continually,
          “Where is your God?”

11  Why are you cast down, O my soul,
          and why are you disquieted within me?
     Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
          my help and my God.

And now we wait.  The last chemo was June 28 and we should be celebrating.  We wait for another PET scan to show us if my husband still has cancer.  He is feeling better, looks good, and I am hopeful that he will soon be strong again, but I can’t shake the “disquiet” in my soul.

We are grateful for a good life, caring children and loving grandchildren.  We are “comfortable” and not in need of anything, but. . . a clean scan.  Even with a clean scan, will I be worry-free?  Probably not—I will be waiting for the next scan—waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I feel battered like a ship in a storm.  The storm has moved on, but I feel damaged as I head into the port.  Will I be strong enough to withstand another storm?  What I need is peace and only I can find that, with God’s help. 

God, please give me strength and peace to navigate the troubled waters of life.  Make me strong enough to weather the next storm.  Quiet my soul.  You are bigger than the storms in my life.  Thank you for the gift of writing which helps me heal.  Thank you for our friends, family and church who are the lifeboats.  In Your name I pray. Amen.

JaclynMorgan

Photo by Torsten Dederichs on Unsplash

The Owl Orion

 The sage owl, Orion, sits perched on a branch 

amid the tree tops,

sitting and watching and pondering

What was and what could be.

Is he wise  or 

is it just his quiet nature?

Alone watching the world go by.

Nighttime:  his time to shine.

His eyes are sharp, intense 

despite missing an eye.

At dusk his husky voice

laments the passing of another of day..

Still sitting but now on the hunt, watching.

He  transforms from a quiet wise soul

to a predator:

Swooping slowly down, 

he preys on the little creatures

scurrying so far beneath him.

He returns to his perch

satiated and satisfied

Surveying the underbrush again

Looking for other easy prey: 

Not wise,

but, condescending and unflinching

Looking at me.

Becoming a Hoy People

 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Becoming a Holy People

Our Presbyterian Women's Bible Study this year is An Abiding Hope.  Last month's lesson was on 

"Becoming a Holy People".

Exodus 19: 3-6  Matthew 22: 34-40

The "key idea" was "In the covenant relationship, God offers us abundant blessings.  We honor this covenant through the choices we make each day."  The study concluded with a story about a Jewish gentleman who was questioned about his kosher eating habits. "I am free to eat anything.  I choose to eat only that which declares my loyalty to God."



We discussed what we do or have which declares our loyalty to God.   One person suggested wearing a cross is a daily reminder.  Another said she listens to Chuck Swindoll on the radio each morning on her way to work which is a great way to start her day.

Several responded that reading  a daily devotional like the Upper Room, prepares them for the day.  My mother and sister used to read the Upper Room together at the same time each morning in Dallas and St. Louis.  They didn't Skype and didn't use the phone.  It was just something they did in their own homes across the miles which brought them closer to each other and to God.

 I have a towel that hangs in my laundry room which I see every day as I go in and out the door to remind me that I am God's servant.  This was given to me many years ago when I became an elder at St. Mark as a reminder to serve.  Although I am no longer on session, it was a covenant that I still take seriously.

My daughter has another idea that I love.  She takes a photo on Instagram of three things each day that she is thankful for. #ldwthankful2014.  With that hashtag (#), she can see all of the photos she has posted for the entire year. Read her explanation---Click here.  By the end of the year, she will have 1000 things she is thankful for.

What do you do every day or during Lent to remind you of your covenant with God?

Holy God, we thank you for the amazing grace that makes us treasured in your eyes.  Help us to continue to grow into the people you would have us be---a covenant community dedicated to you and you alone.  Kindle such love in our hearts that all our choices may declare our devotion to you, especially as we reach out to those around us who have come to our area out of necessity and perhaps unwillingly.  May they discover your love and care through all who seek to help them.  In Christ's name, Amen.

Thin Places

 

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Thin Places

A few days ago, V. Sherman posted on Facebook "Just about to load the car to go to the sand dunes at a place that I think of as a 'thin place'. "  

She also included a link to an article about "thin places" from the New York times (Click here).  The first time I had heard of "thin places" was when Kim Skilling gave a series at St. Mark Presbyterian's Midweek on Celtic influences on Christianity called " Beneath the Celtic Cross of Jesus" where she talked of Iona (one of the "thin places" mentioned in the article).   I always thought there was maybe a list of "thin places"---it never occurred to me that they could be personal and maybe not be places recognized by the spiritual community as being "thin".  Reading the article and V's comment about the sand dunes, it didn't take me long to realize where my "thin place" is.

I had just said last weekend, I must visit Shaw's Garden (Missouri Botanical Garden) several times a year to feel restored.  When friends post on Facebook that they are there, I feel a tugging in my heart.  I always thought it was because I grew up near there:  it was where my family including grandparents went every Sunday after church.  Even when we moved to North County, I found myself drawn there.  Just this year, I posted on Facebook a photo of nothing special at the Garden, but commented, "I am in Heaven."  I even told my daughter, "If your dad and I renew our vows at 50 years, this is where I want the ceremony."  

I am very fortunate that my "thin place" is close and not several hundred miles away like V's is. Where is your "thin place", where you feel Heaven is close to earth, where you feel your soul soaring, where you feel complete, restored, alive?