McCrite Love

I came to McCrite broken:

weary from care-giving,

limping with sciatica,

emotionally drained.

But, here at McCrite, I found love:

the love of a neighbor checking in on me,

the love of a work out buddy who said, 

“Have a Good Day”,

the love from a resident welcoming me with a goody bag 

that included the Cardinal schedule,

the love of people in the dining rooom inviting us to join them.

the love of friends who prayed for me and Dave

the love of a support group that helped dry my tears

Now, it is my turn to return that love

with a poem or two,

a welcoming smile,

with a listening ear, and

a hug,

with a laugh at breakfast or happy hour, or

a birthday card slipped in the door.

The people at McCrite

found all of my pieces 

and helped me re-assemble myself

I’m not the same person but a new and improved version of myself.

thank you.

April 2026

Intertwined

 My poetry, his chords

healing us—

15 years are a long time to wait

for intimate conversation

about our feelings, our losses, our lives

Sharing our needs

with each other

after so many years of hiding them 

to attend to spouses’ needs.

Now, with support

I feel alive again---

Ready to see the world

through someone else’s lens.

Ready to laugh with someone

about life’s ironies.

Ready to face aging

holding hands:

Vines intertwined for strength.

What seemed impossible—-

insurmountable alone,

Now is manageable together.

Quiet My Soul

 

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Quiet My Soul

Morning Psalm 42

1   As a deer longs for flowing streams,
          so my soul longs for you, O God.
2   My soul thirsts for God,
          for the living God.
     When shall I come and behold
          the face of God?
3   My tears have been my food
          day and night,
     while people say to me continually,
          “Where is your God?”

11  Why are you cast down, O my soul,
          and why are you disquieted within me?
     Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
          my help and my God.

And now we wait.  The last chemo was June 28 and we should be celebrating.  We wait for another PET scan to show us if my husband still has cancer.  He is feeling better, looks good, and I am hopeful that he will soon be strong again, but I can’t shake the “disquiet” in my soul.

We are grateful for a good life, caring children and loving grandchildren.  We are “comfortable” and not in need of anything, but. . . a clean scan.  Even with a clean scan, will I be worry-free?  Probably not—I will be waiting for the next scan—waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I feel battered like a ship in a storm.  The storm has moved on, but I feel damaged as I head into the port.  Will I be strong enough to withstand another storm?  What I need is peace and only I can find that, with God’s help. 

God, please give me strength and peace to navigate the troubled waters of life.  Make me strong enough to weather the next storm.  Quiet my soul.  You are bigger than the storms in my life.  Thank you for the gift of writing which helps me heal.  Thank you for our friends, family and church who are the lifeboats.  In Your name I pray. Amen.

JaclynMorgan

Photo by Torsten Dederichs on Unsplash

Jesus Drives Out Impure Spirit

 

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Jesus Drives Out an Impure Spirit

Luke 4:31-37 New International Version (NIV) 

Jesus Drives Out an Impure Spirit 

31 Then he went down to Capernaum, a town in Galilee, and on the Sabbath he taught the people. 32 They were amazed at his teaching, because his words had authority. 

33 In the synagogue there was a man possessed by a demon, an impure spirit. He cried out at the top of his voice, 34 “Go away! What do you want with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are—the Holy One of God!” 

35 “Be quiet!” Jesus said sternly. “Come out of him!” Then the demon threw the man down before them all and came out without injuring him. 

36 All the people were amazed and said to each other, “What words these are! With authority and power he gives orders to impure spirits and they come out!” 37 And the news about him spread throughout the surrounding area. 

My husband has cancer.  To see the PET scan showing the mass in the middle of his chest and the other places it had spread was a frightening experience.  A PET scan looks a little like an X-ray excepting where there is cancer.  If cancer is present, it lights up with an almost blinding light---it’s as if some alien creature has somehow managed to be introduced into his body and is replicating. 

There was never any discussion between us on what needed to be done.  Dave just said, “Get it out of there—start chemo as soon as possible.”  There is comfort in the words, “Be quiet!” Jesus said sternly. “Come out of him!” Then the demon threw the man down before them all and came out without injuring him.”  

Dave is now half-way through the chemo process.  Chemo is a very mixed blessing.  It is part demon and part miracle.  While it is certainly doing the job of ridding him of cancer, his body is being thrown down in the process.  It remains to be seen if cancer will “come out without injuring him”. 

He has been fortunate that he hasn’t been nauseous yet.  Nor has he had trouble sleeping with night sweats. The hair loss is annoying but tolerable.  Mostly he has been affected by extreme fatigue accompanied by intestinal issues.   

It's Spring now and we are mentally ready to get out to the Botanical Garden, travel to our daughters’ homes, but I’m reminded of Jesus’ words, “’Be quiet,’ Jesus said sternly.” Let the miracles of chemo work---don’t rush it. His body is weak.  Be quiet.   Let the healing happen.

Dear God, We need to remember whatever we are struggling with, we have Jesus by our side to help us. Please give us patience, strength and faith as we fight our battles. When we become impatient with the pace of change, remind us to "Be Quiet" and let God help.  Amen

PET scan images are from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PET-CT

Jaclyn Morgan

No Joy in Advent

 I’ve felt loss at Christmas:

my grandmother, Dave’s parents

my mother, and now Dave.

I could be happy but joy? seldom.

I could be happy to be with family,

Happy the Christmas blogs were ready,

Happy we made it home safely

After driving through an ice storm,

But not joy.

I struggled through Christmas parties

And even large family gatherings.

Putting on my smiling face, 

Tryiing to capture others’ joy

with hugs.

But I couldn’t find Joy.

I struggled trying to decorate for Christmas.

First the Nativity:  Dad made the manger;

Mom made the ceramic figures.

Next, came Christmas cards,

Writing humorous letters.

Trying to find Joy.

I  bought gifts for everyone, 

First, going into crowds, 

standing in lines at the stores

Then, ordering by catalgue

But, finally giving up and 

writing checks

Singing Christmas carols in a choir,

Watching faces light up upon 

Unwrapping gifts,

Sitting in a chair in the library,

Watching the fireplace by the ight of a tree,

Still no Joy.

Hanging our two Christmas stockings

A cherished gift from Mom.

I cried.

Maybe joy is asking too much.

An unattainable goal,

An emotion of childhood.

If there’s no Joy, 

What is there?

I’m surrounded by Love and

I can Hope that the new year will 

Bring me Peace.

But Joy is a lonely pink candle

Waiting to be lit.

Finding Joy

 “Joy Lives in the Heart'

I can feel content

With moments of warmth 

And love in my heart,

But, Joy? Living in my Heart?

Is Joy  hiding in the basement,

Afraid to come out?

If Joy lives in the cellar of my heart,

is it packed in a jar on a shelf?

like last summer’s canned tomatoes, 

Waiting to be found and opened.

Or, maybe Joy is waiting to be found

Like a child playing hide and seek.

I need to go looking for it perhaps. . .

I need to listen for the muffled giggles  

of joy feeling  antsy in the darkness,

A little afraid to come out before hearing

The magic words:

“Ollie, ollie, oxen free. 

Come out, Come out

Wherever you are.”

So,do I have the power to find joy 

hidden but 

just waiting for permision to come out?

I seem to have forgotten

those magic words.

I hope Joy has the power

to find ME. .. ..

By suddenly popping out 

from the dark shadows of my heart.

I'm hoping for just a little flashlight beam of joy

That I can hold in my hand

Lighting my path.