Balance

 

When attempting to write my "This, I believe" statement, I started to write about the importance of teaching children how to be happy, successful adults.  It was important to me that our daughters had a balanced life: social, physical activity, team work, creativity, music, academics, service, spiritual.  So, when one wanted to quit the church choir, she needed to find another way to serve, be on a team, be spiritual and have music in her life.

And then it hit me:  "BALANCE" has been the overarching goal of my entire life not just in parenting.  As a stay at home mom, I always volunteered at the church, attended classes, served my community, did something that gave me pleasure and did some sort of exercise in addition to traditional "Mom roles" .  It wasn't always easy maintaining that balance.  My volunteer positions often stole time for me and time for my family.  I didn't have time for personal reflection or fun while I ran from activity to activity.  I used my dining room chairs to keep balance.

Having my finger in so many pots sometimes lead to a cluttered house.  One of the ways I stayed organized, active and clutter free was to put notebooks, gym bags, books on my dining room chairs.  Each chair represented an activity:  Picture Lady at Henry School, Church circle, Citizen's Advisory Council, AAUW, Mademoiselle Health Club,  Historical Society, Parkway evening classes, Sunday School Teaching.  Being a people-pleaser, it's hard for me to say no when asked to take on a new responsibility but when I ran out of dining room chairs, I could either quit something or I would have  to say no to something new.  This allowed me to still volunteer but also kept me from getting so involved that I didn't have "fun time" with my children or for myself: I was able to focus on other aspects of my life. I'm sure I puzzled a lot of people when I'd say, "Sorry, I can't---I've run out of dining room chairs".  

Every aspect of my life tries to achieve balance. My diet is balanced: I choose mixed vegetable, a salad and mixed fruit  rather than an apple or green beans.  The church blog balances announcements, prayers, mission, inspiration and scripture. I was more pleased when my daughters were nominated for Best All-Around than when they were class officers or on homecoming court. I even rotate my shoes, wearing a different pair each day which dictates what I wear more than the weather does.

Sometimes it's hard for others to see the importance of balance.  Dave could watch Major Crimes repeats all day but I insist on the TV being off until noon.  Although he is an introvert, I try to get him to socialize, in addition to his much needed time alone. Balance in politics is also something I cannot control. Although I can vote for the most moderate candidate, she often does not win.  I'm not happy when one party is in control.  I love the give and take of compromise.

Balance in my religious/spiritual life is also important: worship, study, service, meditation.  We worship with YouTube, attend Small Groups and Sunday School via Zoom with our St. Mark friends, but our service, meditation and social are done mostly here at McCrite, our retirement home.  I use my Stephen Ministry training to listen to my new friends here, but I also help others when possible like bringing packages to my neighbor who doesn't walk well or listening patiently while a friend tells me repeatedly (sometimes within an hour's time) about her job before she retired.  While the weather is nice, I sit outside for meditation but we also have several meditation opportunities here at McCrite through videos, staff members hosting devotionals and Tai Chi.  I'm optimistic that my spiritual life will soon be in balance too.

So how does my core belief of balance impact my spiritual life?  When I feel anxious, stressed or overwhelmed with concerns, I pray for help. . . .not for answers.  My life sometimes feels out of control; I'm floundering.  I know the answers are within me, but I doubt myself.  This happens mostly at 3 AM when I am most vulnerable.  I say a prayer and  have faith that God is there to support me through the night and will help me in the morning. . What I need is reassurance, a bit of propping up until I can . . .get my balance.

.So, when McCrite offered a class in balance, I smiled to myself knowing that was one class I probably wouldn't need for awhile.  Not only do I try to balance my life, but I also still practice yoga most mornings ending in the tree pose at the end of my version of Salute to the Sun.

Photo by Amauri Mejía on Unsplash

Winter Solstice

Candle light

Twinkle lights

Fire light

Street lights

Moon light

All bring hope, promise,

And direction in the dark.

Without the darkness,
During the day,
Those lights are dimmed--
Seldom seen
Rarely followed.

I’m not afraid of the dark
With those dots of light

Always coaxing me on.
I celebrate the dark and light,
Walking hand in hand.

He is the light that keeps me

Moving forward on our darkest day,

In the dark days of life.
Walking . . .his hand in my hand,
Urging me on.

I believe

I believe

in angels who watch over me,

in the holy spirit which guides me,

in the DNA of my ancestors influencing who I am,

in inspiration which comes unannounced.

I BELIEVE

I believe 

in education and health care for all,

in freedom to live with whom and where I want to live,

in discussion not angry words with name-calling and threats,

in families focusing on what they have in common not what keeps them apart,

I BELIEVE in PEACE.

I believe

in clean air, water and soil as God intended,

in saving threatened species which God has created,

in supporting other energy sources other than fossil fuels,

in recycling, composting, re-purposing.

I BELIEVE in the EARTH.

I believe 

in respecting other religious groups,

in welcoming immigrants and refugees,

in being open and willing to learn from those who are different,

in seeing the good in people even if I have to search for it.

I BELIEVE in PEACE on EARTH.

Photo by Perry Grone on Unsplash

I believe. .. .

Galatians 5:1 It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Our pastor challenged us to write an "I believe" statement.  I had a hard time because the Frankie Laine song kept going through my head.  Click here  So, I had to think of way to get there through a "back door".  I recalled the Schwends always quoting Bitsy, "Everything's going to be all right" and I thought, "What phrases do I use all of the time?"  That might help me find my core beliefs.

There are two phrases I find myself repeating. One is, “Go while the gettin’ is good.” Thank goodness, Dave and I have always made quality travel experiences a priority since at this time, our health prevents us from traveling much.  Someone was surprised that I had already achieved 100 things on my “bucket list” but we travelled, skied, hiked, biked when we were young and healthy.  We might not have always lived in the largest house or driven the fanciest cars, but we chose to experience life to its fullest while we could. We loved to travel and hope to again some day.

My other frequently used phrase  is “ Life is too short for uncomfortable shoes.”  This probably began when I was in 8th grade.  I was always short, but suddenly I felt . . . .well, immature compared to my classmates.  So I went out and bought a pair of high heel shoes.  Yes, they were uncomfortable, but they made me look more mature.. . . or so I thought until I saw a reflection in a store window of myself walking.  I looked like a little girl clomping around in her mother’s high heels.  Then, I did the math.  I was 5’ tall and 3” heels made me 5’3” which was not exactly statuesque.  That was the last time I ever wore high heels.

I wore hush puppies, Dr. Scholl’s, Birkenstocks, Clarks and Merrills——insisting that there was more to life than fashionable and uncomfortable shoes.  I also took that credo to other aspects of my life.  I drive a VW Beetle which makes me smile and fits me just right. My kitchen island is shorter than counter tops so I can work comfortably. I seldom wear skirts or dresses which bind me at the waist.  I don’t watch television which makes me squirm with its language or violence.  I shut off all political diatribes on facebook by “hiding” them or blocking the original poster.  

But, lately I’ve noticed that I’ve started avoiding people and groups which make me uncomfortable, also. It probably began when I had to limit my social contact due to being immune suppressed. Also, I’ve had blood pressure issues for years.   I see a doctor regularly, but. . . .when I’m with pessimistic people, toxic people, or angry people, my blood pressure rises. Whether it’s their politics, their slant on Christianity,  or their values, I just haven’t be able to make room in my life for people who are binding and make me squirm.  If I have to limit my social contact, then I want it to be with healthy people in every aspect. So, I’ve expanded my “Life is too short for uncomfortable shoes” to “Life is too short to surround myself with people who make me uncomfortable.”  

Which bring me to my “I believe “statement. . . . I believe in freedom from things, people, places that bind me.  I believe in freedom to choose where I live, how I live, with whom I live. My DNA says that I descend from a slave in America, and now I wonder if my need for freedom and travel comes from something imbedded in my DNA. But, maybe by “choosing my social contacts” I am in truth restricting myself to just people who are like myself.  Maybe I need to break out of my “comfort zone” in order to be truly free of chains. Maybe, as my daughter suggested, those whom I see as negative or shallow, need encouragement to break their chains also.

Psalm 107:13-16 - Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.