Quiet My Soul

 

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Quiet My Soul

Morning Psalm 42

1   As a deer longs for flowing streams,
          so my soul longs for you, O God.
2   My soul thirsts for God,
          for the living God.
     When shall I come and behold
          the face of God?
3   My tears have been my food
          day and night,
     while people say to me continually,
          “Where is your God?”

11  Why are you cast down, O my soul,
          and why are you disquieted within me?
     Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
          my help and my God.

And now we wait.  The last chemo was June 28 and we should be celebrating.  We wait for another PET scan to show us if my husband still has cancer.  He is feeling better, looks good, and I am hopeful that he will soon be strong again, but I can’t shake the “disquiet” in my soul.

We are grateful for a good life, caring children and loving grandchildren.  We are “comfortable” and not in need of anything, but. . . a clean scan.  Even with a clean scan, will I be worry-free?  Probably not—I will be waiting for the next scan—waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I feel battered like a ship in a storm.  The storm has moved on, but I feel damaged as I head into the port.  Will I be strong enough to withstand another storm?  What I need is peace and only I can find that, with God’s help. 

God, please give me strength and peace to navigate the troubled waters of life.  Make me strong enough to weather the next storm.  Quiet my soul.  You are bigger than the storms in my life.  Thank you for the gift of writing which helps me heal.  Thank you for our friends, family and church who are the lifeboats.  In Your name I pray. Amen.

JaclynMorgan

Photo by Torsten Dederichs on Unsplash

Finding Jesus

 

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Where do you find Jesus? Or does Jesus find you?

Bellefontaine Cemetery, St. Louis

On Facebook a few weeks ago, J. Boyd asked, " Where do you look for Jesus, and where do you find him? Any surprises? (I.e. when or where do you look for him and NOT find him? When do you encounter him when you least expect it?) Your thoughts are welcome..."

I thought awhile before I responded to her question---where was a place that most people wouldn't think of?  "Cemeteries" are my place of peace and comfort.

Visiting cemeteries and "decorating the graves" has always been a family tradition.  Even on vacations, my parents would visit historic cemeteries, reading the stones, finding inspiration, history, art and sometimes humor. Click here for some of my favorite cemeteries.  Of course, there was sadness, whether we knew the individuals or not.  But we would always say silent prayers for the families and the individual that they found peace.

When I was in college, living in dormitories was sometimes overwhelming. I would often walk to a nearby cemetery overlooking the Mississippi River.  There I found the peace and calmness that I couldn't find in the chaos of communal living.  There I could find comfort---as if God was wrapping His arms around me.  There I could sort out my thoughts and think clearly.  

Last weekend, Pastor Gary gave a sermon called "The Impossible Possibility".  He said, don't try to find God---He finds us.  But that doesn't always mean we are aware that he has found us.  That moment when we know God is with us, is an epiphany.  Sometimes the pace and demands of life keep us from feeling God's presence.  We often need places where we can meditate, block out the noise and confusion to hear the voice of God.  Kim Skilling introduced me to the term "Thin Places" which is what cemeteries are for me.  According to Celtic Tradition, "Thin Places" are where Heaven and Earth are only three feet apart, but they are far more than that. For more on "thin places", click here,  Another view of what they are and are not click here.

Bellefontaine Cemetery, St. Louis

Where have you had an epiphany?  Where is a "thin place" for you?  Do you think we should look for Jesus, or does He find us?  Or, back to Jill's questions, "Is there a place where you did not find Him?  When do you encounter Him when you least expect it?" 

Psalm 139:7-10 New International Version (NIV)

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.