Leaving

In the spring, 

we unfurled ourselves

like leaves budding on a branch

reaching out to the sun for warmth,

excited about tomorrow:

nourished and encouraged 

by friends: 

inter-weaving our lives, 

believing in endless possibilities.

In the summer, 

we danced together in the gentle wind

supporting each other during the storms that came swiftly:

Most of us growing stronger— 

withstanding each storm---

perceiving we were invincible.

But.. . . .some didn’t survive the storm 

and 

fell 

away: 

leaving us behind.

In the autumn of my life,

my friends are getting weaker and leaving.

Some can’t hold on even on a quiet day:

Ever so gently falling. 

I struggle to hang on. 

I’m weary of grieving.

What will the winter bring?

A long restorative rest, 

or

will I fly away on the winter wind?

Travelling with Three Young Daughters

Visiting wax museums, a medieval feast, Hadrian's Wall, Stonehenge, ice cream treats, castle mazes, Beatrix Potter’s home, sleeping on a farm with cute kittens before. .. .

Cartwheeling at Canterbury Cathedral.

Sleeping on a slow boat to Holland, amusement parks, miniature villages, windmills before departing on a night train through Germany, visiting Memmingen, Munich and Mad Ludwig's castles.

While taking a carriage ride up to Neuschwanstein Castle with an elderly man from England, 

He looked at the girls, smiled  and said:

"Did I see you cartwheeling at Canterbury Cathedral?"

June 1986

English Language and Poetry

I love the English language.  While some people majored in English for literature and some for writing, I majored in English  because I love the language:  the history, the idiosyncrasies, the sounds, the plays on words and the shear poetry of it. Studying literature, I was attracted to poetry because it is English at its finest with each word carefully chosen.

Beginning with nursery rhymes, I've always enjoyed poetry.  I even wrote a piece about friends while at Girl Scout Camp "Everyone has friends, The butcher, the baker, The candlestick maker.  Everyone has friends." Sounds a little like a nursery rhyme doesn't it?

 One reason I enjoyed studying German was to better understand how English evolved as a Germanic language.  There I found the answers to questions like "Why does "two" have a "w" in it?" (Depending on the dialect, "two" is "zwei" or "zwo"in  German)  

While in high school I read poetry in Speech and Drama Tournaments.  Reading and analyzing William Blake's "The Tyger" took me to State where I won 2nd place. After re-reading it,today, I kind of wonder what I said about it that got me to State. I did give it a very dramatic reading which was more points than the analysis, I guess.

Later while in college I studied Victorian and Romantic Poets, but I never attempted to write poetry again until I was an adult.  I first began writing humorous rhyming pieces for invitations or  for greeting cards. One year I decided to write Haiku to accompany art my daughters' made for Christmas cards .Click here

When I taught English, of course I taught poetry.  The Harlem Renaissance poets really caught my eye.  I also enjoy Maya Angelou and lately Amanda Gorman.  I loved their terse style and vivid imagery in addition to the "blues"  Click here

Of course a message or a story is important. To achieve that a poet uses metaphors, similes, alliteration, form, personification, sound, repetition, rhythm, rhyme, symbolism and imagery. Not all poems have them all and rhyme is just one element which I choose not to use.

Rhyming is not important to me----rhymes are often forced.  And. .. ..what rhymes for a person in 18th century England doesn't rhyme in 21st century America.   So, I don't see rhymes as being universal for all English speaking people. However, rhymes don't have to be at the end of a line.  I aspire to rhyme like Amanda Gorman with her internal rhyming: 

We did not feel prepared to be the heirs of such a terrifying hour,
but within it, we found the power to author a new chapter, to offer hope and laughter to ourselves."

After many years, I started writing poetry again.  It's not something I can just sit down and start writing.  It's more like an itch that I need to scratch.  I find words and phrases in my head that I keep playing with. I write notes sometimes in text messages to myself.  After a while it starts to take shape.  I've even written poetry about. . . .writing poetry.

Words in the Wind

 

Words, images, ideas whirl in my head like leaves in the wind.

I try to catch them in the breeze, but they have their own mind.

I sit  and watch and wait.

The wind slows, 

the leaves drift down---

Fluttering to the ground, 

settling in the grass:

Poetry on a page.

Whittling Words

Writing poetry

is not just rhyming

not just couplets

not just alliteration.

Writing poetry

is choosing 

words wisely, whittling  away

at thoughts,

until a form appears,

an image takes shape---

Smoothing down the edges,

Sanding down the unnecessary,

Searching for the true.

Writing poetry

is not rhyming 

not couplets

Not alliter. . . hmm. . . .maybe 

alliteration is all right after all.

Cottonwood Tango

Cotton wood trees 

sparkling in the sun

like spangled Spanish dancers.

Branches bow and  dance in synchronized rhythm while

Saplings bend and sway in the sultry summer breeze

Leaves softly clapping.

Cicadas clicking castanets 

in cascading sound.

The staccato tapping 

of woodpeckers.

Cotton seeds drifting :

Confetti crescendo

The wind dies down.

The trees stand still.

The woodpecker flies. 

The silence is punctuated by a distant airplane,

The show is over.

    . . .for now

First Love

 If you'll recall I never really had a boyfriend throughout high school and most of college.  Also, you need to know I was very interested in foreign places with my deepest desire to travel to Europe but especially England.  I'd taken German in high school  because I thought that would help me reach the goal of going to Europe.  If I had taken French or Spanish, my parents would have said, "Go to Canada" or "Go to Mexico" but German. . . .I needed to go to Europe to learn fluency.  I wasn't particularly interested in Germany, but I did have interest in going to Switzerland (home of Heidi) and Austria. (home of Sound of Music).

But, my heart was in England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales. I loved British history (you have no idea how excited I was to learn that I descend from my favorite Scottish kings and my favorite English Queen---Eleanor of Aquitaine).  I read English literature:  the Brontes, Jane Austen, Thomas Hardy, Graham Greene.  My favorites novels were about the legendary King Arthur and Camelot. (I have an entire book shelf of King Arthur books) Although I majored in German, I also majored in English:  English literature and English language were my real loves. 

My good friend Ed (one of my high school "brothers") and I belonged to a group at church called The Searchers (my sister Jane and Grandpa's brother Tom also belonged).  We had a house on the church property where we met, studied, partied and practically lived in the summers when we were home from college.  It was a group of about 30-50 from all religious backgrounds. We did have one regular meeting with an outside speaker during the week which everyone attended.  

I walked into the meeting that evening and saw that Ed had brought someone new---a very cute blond young man who was busy taking in all of the chaos and joy before the meeting.  He was smiling as his eyes darted from person to person.  I liked that smile.  Ed saw me and  raised his hand that I needed to come over.  He introduced me to Tony. . . .an exchange student from England working at McDonnell-Douglas (Boeing) for the summer. I sat right down next to Tony and eagerly started chatting with him until the meeting began.

I was 19: the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college.  Tony was maybe 20, a student at Birmingham University and a "co-op" with Rolls-Royce Aviation.  That meant he was a student but also worked at Rolls-Royce---a little like an internship.  (Grandpa was a co-op at McDonnell Douglas as was Ed).  Tony didn't drive, but he lived in an apartment, so I assume Ed drove him everywhere he needed to go.  Ed was certainly our "chauffeur" most of the summer with the exception of one date.

Just before I was to leave to go back to college, Tony asked me to go the Muny Opera to see Camelot (my favorite musical) about King Arthur.  He'd received tickets to the McDonnell box seats.  It was the perfect date!  We had dinner at Fox and Hounds at Cheshire Inn---about the most English setting anywhere in St. Louis. Then we went to the Muny with the best seats!  After all of my years sitting in the "cheap" seats, I had never dreamed I'd be escorted to the box seats of one of the biggest companies in St. Louis.  Ed did not drive.. .. I think I might have driven although a limo was not out of the question.  OK, a horse and carriage would have been perfect, but I'm pretty sure that did not happen. Although it was "magical" sitting with Tony in box seats watching Camelot, I also discovered that seats that close were too close.  I remember thinking, "I can count the nose hairs of the conductor".  But I digress.

After Camelot, we just sat in the car outside his apartment and talked and talked.  I left for college soon after and then, got one of the most disappointing phone calls I'd ever received.  We only had one phone on our entire floor in my dorm, so someone had to get me for the phone call.  They were grinning but wouldn't tell me why.  Ah, the English accent. Tony was calling from the New York City airport--no easy task back then.  He was on a pay phone, putting coins in every few minutes.    When I got on, I knew it was him talking but I didn't understand anything he said.  While I never had any trouble with his accent in person, over the phone in 1966. ....I couldn't understand him.  I was so frustrated, I remember going down the hall of my dorm crying---a combination of him leaving but also my frustration at not being able to understand him. 

I only heard from him one more time---a Christmas card that just had his name. .. .

So, recently I began to wonder what happened to Tony.  I googled "Tony Edwards, RAF" (Royal Air Force) and was surprised at how quickly he popped up photos and all.   He was every bit as successful as I knew he would be.  He had a very successful career in aviation engineering and even was awarded a medal by Prince Phillip (Duke of Edinburgh).  He was on at least 16 boards.  This link will take you to a page where you need to scroll down to find Tony, but it details his career.  I don't think my 19 year old self would have been surprised at his success at all:  I had high standards.

But meanwhile, meeting Tony planted a seed in my brain and a new goal:  exchange student. And now I knew my "type": intelligent, warm, successful, good looking  and. . . . .not an American.