Pride and Prejudice

 

You grandchildren never knew your Grandpa before his accident.  Your mothers can tell you all about that but I want to tell you about Grandpa and I meeting and falling in love.

We did not fall in love at first, second, third, fourth or fifth sight. I can see Grandpa getting all fidgety in heaven because he knows what’s coming.  He never defended himself or explained, so you just have my word that the story is true. If you have read Pride and Prejudice at a slow speed, you will soon recognize a theme.

My friend Hilda and I were at church Easter Sunday 65 years ago.We were 14 years old.  She spotted Dave across the parking lot. He was class president at her high school and he was gorgeous. Hilda grabbed my hand to go over and “meet” him.   She giggled and squealed “I’m Hilda—-I go to high school with you.  Just wanted to say Happy Easter.”  I saw how arrogantly he reacted to us like we were beneath his recognition, so I just said ” Happy Easter” and turned to his brother Tom for conversation to hide my embarrassment.  For years, I never forgave his 17 year old self  for his reaction of superiority to Hilda and me. 

A few years later, I started picking Tom up for youth fellowship.  On at least one occasion, Dave was sitting in the living room and looked out the door.  Years later, I asked him about this and he said, “Did you drive a Studebaker?”  “Why, yes I did.”  “I don’t remember you but I remember that car.”   

Fast forward to our mid twenties.  He was dating my friend Mary.  We attended parties together and even doubled on one occasion, but he never acted like he  knew me so I stopped introducing myself and just ignored him.

One Friday I asked Mary if she wanted to go to Collegiate Club with me—-a huge city-wide dance party.  It was a place to meet other single people..  She said she couldn’t go because she was going out with Dave. I nodded and went with other friends.  After we got there, I saw Dave walking in with his best friend Elliott. I looked at Dave, my eyes widened and I was so angry I was actually shaking.  His friend picked up on my “interest” and urged him to ask me to dance.

Trying to collect my thoughts, I agreed to dance with him.  He did not recognize me or pick up my anger vibes.  After the music stopped, I looked up at him and said, “I thought you were going out with Mary tonight.” He LOOKED at me and said, “Please don’t tell her you saw me here.”  “Maybe I will and maybe I won’t”  And I held my head high and walked away. They left.

After that we continued to go to parties together knowing of each other but keeping our distance.  He and Mary drifted apart. Other friends of mine had expressed interest in Dave but I discouraged them telling them he was “stuck on himself”. He with his Pride and I with my Prejudice based on my 14-year-old opinion of him.

This group of friends that we partied with also went on float trips together. One September, I arrived at a float trip a day late..  When I got there, everyone was sitting around the campfire and they were remarkably glum—-not the usual lively crowd.  I saw that two of my friends were bedraggled and drying their clothes over the fire on sticks. When I asked, they told me they’d been in Dave’s canoe. They’d hit a rock and capsized in frigid water. They’d given him a tongue lashing which is why the party was so quiet upon my arrival. I thought, “And for this you’re ostracizing him?”He looked so pitiful..  I didn’t like him, but this was harsh.

The next morning we got up bright and early, were choosing who we’d canoe with for the day.  No one wanted to be with Dave. I found my opinion of him starting to change—-I felt sorry for him, so I volunteered to  paddle with him.

He later told me that is when he started falling in love with me.  After the float trip, we started hanging out together at parties more.  My friend Mary noticed and said, “I think you should go out with Dave.”  We started dating in November and married in June—-more than ten years after we first met. And i loved being married to him every single day: for better or for worse, in sickness and in health and that doesn’t change with his death. He was well worth waiting 10 years for—-my Mr. Darcy.