Listening

 

Listening has never been my strong suit---whether it was listening to my mother telling me to clean my room or trying to listen to a sermon.  My mother accused me of "tuning her out" or being so into a book, I put a wall around myself:  self imposed deafness was implied.  I finally learned to take notes when listening to a sermon or a class lecture, but socially, listening is a skill that I never could find a "work around" other than asking someone to write me a note, e-mail or text.  I learn more about what is being said by facial expression and gestures than by the spoken word.

My daughters have the same problem so there's possibly a genetic component.  I even took them for hearing tests as children when they failed the listening part of standardized tests.  Their hearing checked out but I made sure they had tape recorders when they went to college (before iphones).

I learn by watching something being done  so I need a visual for full listening comprehension.  I had an English friend when I was in college who called me from New York on his way home to England.  I couldn't understand a word he said because I had no visual clues.  He could have been professing his love, begging me to run away, or telling me the plane had been hijacked, but I couldn't understand him.  When he hung up, I just sat down and cried.  Seeing someone's facial expression and the formation of the words is critical in my understanding.

Now, in my twilight years, I have hearing loss.  Without hearing aids, everything sounds like I'm under water.  I can hear noise but I can't understand any of it---even the visual clues aren't helping.  As much as I love hearing a familiar voice, I'm not comprehending.  Zoom has helped a lot---I can see and hear---and with the focus of zoom on individual faces speaking, it's been a great help.

Recently, MP, our pastor, has encouraged us to take a Sabbath.  Being a caregiver, it's hard for me to take a whole day to be by myself or to take a sabbatical.  So, I've chosen to sit outside or take a walk outside each day.  Our new apartment has a wonderful patio overlooking a wooded park so I often just sit on the patio and watch the birds in the trees and LISTEN to the sounds.  At our house, I had bushes close to windows with bird feeders to enjoy the birds, but here, the birds are too far away.  Some, like the swifts, turkey vultures and hawks are identifiable by their flight patterns or silhouettes.  But, most of the birds. . . . .just birds.  I went a whole month at the apartment before I even saw a cardinal which I could see at our house daily.

I recently discovered my Merlin bird ID app has a "Sound ID".  So, the other day I heard a very cheerful bird, hit the record button and discovered it was a vireo warbler.  As I was taking a walk yesterday after a rainy day, I heard a lot of "joyful noise".  I got my phone out hit the record button and in one minute, recorded Brown Thrasher, Downy Woodpecker, House Sparrow, European Starling, Tufted Titmouse, Northern Mockingbird.

I am now even able to identify the European Starling by its call: sounds like an asthmatic raspy old man. Just now while writing this (in under a minute:) European Starling, House Sparrow, Brown headed Cowbird, American Robin, Carolina Wren and Rose-breasted Grosbeak. I'm not going to say this is as satisfactory as seeing them at my window, but I am developing my listening skill. I think I can identify a cardinal now too. The app highlights the sound it is currently recording and there's a visual pattern at the top of the screen.

One of my English cousins just told me that she uses that app too which certainly explains why Merlin says "American Robin" since the robins in England have a red breast but otherwise are more the size of our Bluebirds. Another friend said she loves the app when visiting somewhere to help her identify birds she's unfamiliar with in a new setting.

Photo by Mark Paton on Unsplash