My Friends and My Sister

Arsenal Friends

In the days before computers and cell phones, we had three ways to communicate with friends---a letter, an expensive phone call and a face-to-face visit.  For children wanting to play with friends, we would go to each yard and YELL!  We had musical chants for our friends.  I don’t remember if each person had a chant that everyone used for that person or if each individual called all of their friends in the same peculiar way.  I just remember calling, “Oh, Johnnie, oh, Johnnie, OOOOHHHH!”  Even if you couldn’t hear the words, you could identify who the chant was for or who the caller was.  It was especially fun to do it in the “gang-ways”, the walk between two buildings which echoed the chant.

 My first friends were probably the Bellams---Wayne and Wanda were twins who were older but smaller than I was.  Wayne was cute with curly red-hair hair and a sunny disposition; Wanda was dark, unattractive and seemed a little sour even as a young child.  They had an older sister Doris who needed dental work done.  Their mom and dad were also very small and probably alcoholics.  We shared a flat with them—they lived downstairs---we played in the back yard, front yard and on the porch together.  I don’t think Mom totally approved of their family but didn’t have much choice---maybe that’s another reason I visited so many relatives for over-nights.

The Lacy’s lived next door to us.  Delena was the mom and the children were Becky and Benny.  Becky was older, freckled, chubby and walked me to school.  Her brother Benny was Jane’s age and had some kind of chest deformity. Jane thinks he might have had heart surgery because she recalled he had a scar down his chest which we called “the carrot.” I adored Delena who was the only one I’d allow to “paint my throat” with methiolade  or mercurochrome when my throat hurt (before tonsil surgery).  I inherited some of Becky’s doll clothes which I was able to return to her when we moved back to St. Louis in 1978.

Next door to my grandparents were the Buerks---Marilyn was Jane’s BFF (they are still good friends) and her younger brother was Michael.  Theirs was a happy family although Dad drank too much.  Marilyn was very cute, blond, sunny and I always thought DIZZY.  But, later she proved to be more intelligent than I had thought becoming a teacher with a PhD.

Then, there were the Ernsts.  Mother approved of their family although it was a little unconventional---a widowed mother, a maiden aunt (Marie) and three kids, but the women had been or were teachers.  The two boys were a hand full---Johnny and Tommy---they needed the strong hand of a father which they didn’t have.  Mary was my age, very bright, but perhaps a little masculine.  Although I wasn’t really a girly-girl, Mary was even less one.  She liked playing army or baseball across the street.  She always wore her dark hair bobbed, wore boys’ clothes and was unrecognizable at birthday parties when she wore a dress and had her hair curled.  

We played army especially with the Ernsts---mostly we just liked ordering Jane and Marilyn around. Although Mary, Jane, Marilyn and I were girls, Mary told us girls in the army were called Wax (WACS).   But, school was my favorite game.  When my students would ask me how long I had taught, I tell them since I was about 5 years old. There were two “School” games.  The first was the traditional one where I would be the teacher and assign homework, read stories etc.  The second was a game we played on the front steps.  All of the children (2-3) would start on the first step (Kindergarten).  Then, the “teacher” would hide a pebble in the fist of one of her hands behind her back.  She would bring both hands to the front and the “student” would have to guess which hand the pebble was in.  If correct, the “student” got to move up a step (First grade).  The first one to the top of the steps got to be the teacher.

We also played “red light, green light” on the front side walk.  If the leader said “green light”, you ran until the leader said “red light” (stop) or “yellow light” (walk).  The first person at the end of the street was the next leader.  Another favorite game of mine was “A tisket, a tasket” and “Ring around the Rosie” both of which were circle games requiring at least 5-6 kids.  “Mother May I?” and “Red Rover” were fun games, too.  But, Red Rover was always an injury waiting to happen.  Two teams form a chain of hands.  One team says, “Red rover, red rover, send Janie (or another child) right over.”  That child would have to run and try to break the chain.  If she broke the chain, she got to pick someone to take back to her team.  If she couldn’t break the chain, she had to join the other team.  Being small, female and weak, I was picked on a lot.  I had two choices, I could run and leap on the clasped hands which usually resulted in me flipping head over heels, or I could take the “chicken” approach and duck under the hands and automatically join the other side saving myself injury.

When the street lights came on, it was time to go home and inside UNLESS we were with parents/grandparents in the backyard waiting for the lightning bugs to come out.

My Sister

 My sister Linda Jane Long was born around Halloween right before my 3^rd birthday.  I can remember Mom being in the hospital and everyone telling me she looked just like my grandmother Vennie.  I can recall peaking in the bassinette and thinking, “Are they all crazy---she looks nothing like Vennie---she looks like a hairy monkey!”  Actually, now I think she really does look and act like Vennie, but I couldn’t see it then.  She had a large amount of black hair with a little bird-like mouth.  She was sooo tiny.

As she got older and her eyes became more of her defining feature, everyone went on and on about how much she looked like LeRoy with those big, blue eyes.  Mom even got Dad’s photo out and would ask everyone if they knew who the photo was.  They were supposed to say, “That looks just like Linda Jane.”  I would roll my eyes---couldn’t they see he was dressed old-fashioned.  

And tiny, Jane was always so tiny.  I look back at photos and I wasn’t exactly a horse, but those big blue eyes in that tiny little face gave her a slightly elfin look which people ooed and ahhed over.  I felt very inferior in the looks department.  Then, she got all of the pretty blue dresses to match her eyes and I got red or pink---did they match my eyes?  She was like a little doll sitting pretty with her dress while I was a little more active trying to keep up with the boys.

When she started talking, we realized she couldn’t pronounce her “L” sound which was a handicap for Linda Jane Long.  Mother had wanted her called “Linda Jane” but St. Louis was a little far north for that Southern double name (unless you were Mary Sue, Mary Ann, Mary Beth etc.) so her name was shortened to “Linda” by most people.  So, when asked what her name was, she replied, “Win-da Wong”.  That did it for Mom--- I made fun of Jane all the time calling her “Chinese” and pulling the corner of my eyes.  Then, those big blue eyes would start welling up with tears. . . . She became “Jane Long” which I later called “Plain Jane.” (Never under-estimate the teasing power of an older sister)