When attempting to write my "This, I believe" statement, I started to write about the importance of teaching children how to be happy, successful adults. It was important to me that our daughters had a balanced life: social, physical activity, team work, creativity, music, academics, service, spiritual. So, when one wanted to quit the church choir, she needed to find another way to serve, be on a team, be spiritual and have music in her life.
And then it hit me: "BALANCE" has been the overarching goal of my entire life not just in parenting. As a stay at home mom, I always volunteered at the church, attended classes, served my community, did something that gave me pleasure and did some sort of exercise in addition to traditional "Mom roles" . It wasn't always easy maintaining that balance. My volunteer positions often stole time for me and time for my family. I didn't have time for personal reflection or fun while I ran from activity to activity. I used my dining room chairs to keep balance.
Having my finger in so many pots sometimes lead to a cluttered house. One of the ways I stayed organized, active and clutter free was to put notebooks, gym bags, books on my dining room chairs. Each chair represented an activity: Picture Lady at Henry School, Church circle, Citizen's Advisory Council, AAUW, Mademoiselle Health Club, Historical Society, Parkway evening classes, Sunday School Teaching. Being a people-pleaser, it's hard for me to say no when asked to take on a new responsibility but when I ran out of dining room chairs, I could either quit something or I would have to say no to something new. This allowed me to still volunteer but also kept me from getting so involved that I didn't have "fun time" with my children or for myself: I was able to focus on other aspects of my life. I'm sure I puzzled a lot of people when I'd say, "Sorry, I can't---I've run out of dining room chairs".
Every aspect of my life tries to achieve balance. My diet is balanced: I choose mixed vegetable, a salad and mixed fruit rather than an apple or green beans. The church blog balances announcements, prayers, mission, inspiration and scripture. I was more pleased when my daughters were nominated for Best All-Around than when they were class officers or on homecoming court. I even rotate my shoes, wearing a different pair each day which dictates what I wear more than the weather does.
Sometimes it's hard for others to see the importance of balance. Dave could watch Major Crimes repeats all day but I insist on the TV being off until noon. Although he is an introvert, I try to get him to socialize, in addition to his much needed time alone. Balance in politics is also something I cannot control. Although I can vote for the most moderate candidate, she often does not win. I'm not happy when one party is in control. I love the give and take of compromise.
Balance in my religious/spiritual life is also important: worship, study, service, meditation. We worship with YouTube, attend Small Groups and Sunday School via Zoom with our St. Mark friends, but our service, meditation and social are done mostly here at McCrite, our retirement home. I use my Stephen Ministry training to listen to my new friends here, but I also help others when possible like bringing packages to my neighbor who doesn't walk well or listening patiently while a friend tells me repeatedly (sometimes within an hour's time) about her job before she retired. While the weather is nice, I sit outside for meditation but we also have several meditation opportunities here at McCrite through videos, staff members hosting devotionals and Tai Chi. I'm optimistic that my spiritual life will soon be in balance too.
So how does my core belief of balance impact my spiritual life? When I feel anxious, stressed or overwhelmed with concerns, I pray for help. . . .not for answers. My life sometimes feels out of control; I'm floundering. I know the answers are within me, but I doubt myself. This happens mostly at 3 AM when I am most vulnerable. I say a prayer and have faith that God is there to support me through the night and will help me in the morning. . What I need is reassurance, a bit of propping up until I can . . .get my balance.
.So, when McCrite offered a class in balance, I smiled to myself knowing that was one class I probably wouldn't need for awhile. Not only do I try to balance my life, but I also still practice yoga most mornings ending in the tree pose at the end of my version of Salute to the Sun.
Photo by Amauri Mejía on Unsplash
